"wait car! where you going? I'm not in you!"

I’m pretty sure my car should try out for a part in the next Transformers movie. I’m planning my early retirement solely based off of how secure I am at the thought my little Jetta will be seen on the big screens near you! Or maybe I just like writing about my car.

Whichever the case, if the car doesn’t become the next Autobot newbie I might report it into police for attempted manslaughter charges.

True story.

I (finally) pulled into my driveway after work (only took an hour and a half to go 29 miles), reached into the seat next to me and collected all my crap, carefully positioned it in my arms so that I didn’t have to make more than one trip, got out, went to hit the lock button on my key and realized the car was still running. Unwilling to set everything down because it did in fact take 2 minutes to balance it all I leaned into the car, which quickly caused a reshuffle of all of my strategically placed items, reached for the keys then it happened.

The car decided it wasn’t “in for the night” and casually backed down our steeply inclined driveway knocking me down in the process and tossing my belongings across a few yards. Thinking this is pretty bad, I obviously had no idea. I check to make sure all body parts are still attached, stand up, scan the area to see just how many people I embarrassed myself in front of, and then noticed the car was still going. Backwards. Down the street. Instead of making any logical choices (chase after it, scream at it) I just stand there and watch. As if maybe I needed popcorn in hand to make it a perfect moment.

Then came the Mexican/Indian man. I’m thinking surely he’s going to capitalize on some injuries compliments of my insurance because he’s driving his work truck. Quickly, I had to retract that thought as this man became my hero for the day. He stopped his truck (in the road) and ran after my car (because he must also be part Cheetah), jumped in and stopped the mad run away Jetta!

Since I was still in my yard doing absolutely nothing to help my angry car induced situation I had to make the walk of shame three houses up to retrieve my run away property.

“When Cars Attack!” might in fact be the title of the movie I scheme up if Transformers is a flop.